


Out, Damned Thought!

by lemonfizzies



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Graphic Description, Human!Bill, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Physical Abuse, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 20:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14940932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonfizzies/pseuds/lemonfizzies
Summary: Ford suffers some of the consequences that come from trying to purge your demon boyfriend from your body





	Out, Damned Thought!

Ford heaved. Yellow-foamed spittle dripled pitifully into the bowl but nothing more was to be had from it.  
The young man had purged his stomach completely and probably upchucked his lungs in the process but Bill's godforsaken cackle still clanged in his ears.  
"You can take the kid out of the bar but u can't ta--"  
"--I'm not a KID!" Ford snapped, slamming his forehead into the rounded edge of the porcelain tank.  
"Cool it, tyke, you seem like you need a * _time-out_ *."  
Ford retched, involuntarily, and tears spilled down his face from the twisting jerk of an empty, overworked stomach. Not even bile was coming up. God, he wished for something, anything to be left. Somehow, vomiting until it came out his nose was LESS painful than dry-heaving for two and a half hours straight.  
Still, he refused to beg. That's exactly what this * _demon_ * would want.  
As he choked on another hiccupping gurgle, Ford felt his vision sharpening slightly.  
Demon.  
For the past few years, Bill had left no dark corner of Stanford's mind undisturbed. He'd found every secret, every insecurity, every regret, and turned them all into weapons. When Ford disagreed, tried to raise up against him, or if the creature was simply in a foul mood, Bill would dig in and twist until Ford yielded to his whims.  
Demon.  
Not idol. Not mentor. Not friend. Not boyfriend.  
Demon. Inhuman. Evil.  
The glare of the flourecent gas-station bulb crossed his lenses as Ford angled his head away from the bowl, resting his cheek against the cool, porcelain rim. He tried not to think about just how many men had probably watered the seat before his arrival. He failed.  
As Ford lay quivering, hopelessly weak from vomiting, collapsed and clinging to the rim of the toilet bowl for support, Bill leaned casually against the counter of the sink and beamed down at Ford with six dangerous rows of teeth.  
"Ready to try this again?" Bill's voice dripped with restraint, impatient and cold.  
Ford didn't so much as lift his head from the rim of the seat, maintaining exclusive eye contact with the eyelets of Bill's platform boot.  
Until it moved.  
A burning jerk in his gut gave way to waves of blossoming knots and contractions. Ford doubled over further, somehow, mercilessly searching for the air that had been kicked out of him. He was making some truly godforsaken noises, now.  
"Don't even think about trying to tango with * _me,_ * Sixer. I'll make u wish your brain hadn't survived my summoning."  
Summoning. If Ford had the breath, he would laugh. How long had it been since that fateful day? Ford had lost track. He'd lost track of everything, though, since he'd started trying to avoid Bill. Even when he finally controlled his own body, at last, he was always too drunk to walk.  
What bitter luck.  
"I * _said_ *," a deadly edge to Bill's voice began poking through his teeth and he yanked Stanford's hair 'till he stumbled to his feet. * _"Are you ready to try this again?"_ *  
Ford's eyes rolled past Bill's face to focus on the dingy white wall behind him, listlessly noting how the demon looked....well, more * _demonic_ * up close.  
"Let's get this over with before I dropkick your face and splatter this pretty little brain all over the ceiling!"  
The smile was growing wider. A pit grew hot and heavy in Ford's throat and it wasn't the throwing-up kind.  
"What did you do wrong?"  
Ford forced himself to look anywhere except the burning blue flames licking the corner of Bill's eye.  
* _Wham!_ *  
In an instant, Ford had been backhanded across the face and nearly keeled over. Bill's thumb and forefinger dug into the soft flesh under his jaw, while his free hand moved to cover his eyes. Ford swayed in place, though his knees still threatened to buckle.  
"What. Did. You. Do. Wrong."  
Ford knew he only had one chance to get this right. His mind raced as he struggled to recall the night's events. He'd blacked out for most of it but...maybe...In a flash of clarity, Ford knew exactly what Bill wanted to hear.  
"I tried to leave you."  
His own voice sounded dead. It cracked, slightly, but that was more a byproduct of the acid in his throat than emotional vulnerability. He couldn't see Bill's face, couldn't judge his reaction, and every second that passed only compounded his dread. This could be a fatal mistake.  
"........And?"  
The words poured out like a flood with his relief.  
"And I'm awful. I'm juvenille and  sneaky and weak and I shouldn't have done it. I can't believe you were so calm when you found out because anyone else would have just killed me, probably. I'm nothing without you and --" Ford took a rattled pause for air and only coughed. Bill's hands didn't move. Ford brielfly maintained the horrific mental image of Bill's detached arms holding him in place, even after the demon had left the room.  
"--and I'm not worth it but if you can find a way to somehow stay with me beyond this, then....uh..."  
Ford stumbled to a screeching halt, unwilling to commit anything more than he'd already relinquished. Bill was in his mind, controlled his body, drove away his only friend, dogged him day and night about the portal, and regularly forced himself on Stanford in a myriad of ways. What more could he give?  
The silence hung pregnant in the air. Ford only wished he could * _see_ *. For all he knew, Bill was about to snap his neck.  
Bill tittered. A stray giggle turned into a laugh turned into a roar. Ford flinched but the hands held him firmly in place so he could do nothing more than stand rigid and afraid amidst the clamor of Bill's mockery. He seemed to be all around Ford, encircling him, and still united with him in each thump in his heart. The roar subsided to a chuckle once more and Ford felt both hands removed, placed instead upon his cheeks. The light seemed too bright, spots of black void smattered across his field of vision. It took a moment to refocus on Bill and it didn't help that he was so close.  
Bill's forehead rested on Ford's as he gave the man a tight-lipped grin.  
* _"You're an awful liar~"_ *  
Ford's stomach dropped to his knees and he twisted in Bill's grip. Bill shifted to grab hold of Ford's neck faster than the man could react. He was most certainly going to die.  
** **Knock! Knock! Knock!** **  
Suddenly released, the force of Ford's pushing propelled him into the wall with a resounding crash. He slid to his knees, stars dancing around the dark spots now growing larger; the sound of the door being unlocked was heavy, muffled, and far off. Bill stood in the doorway as if to block it, teeth bared at Ford, who was currently trying to find his footing with the help of the toilet.  
The door opened.  
One hand slipped, plunging his arm into the water. Ford had no energy left to gag.  
He stared up at the portly, older gentleman with watery eyes, dazed and clinging to consciousness by a spider's thread. The further he slipped, the more clearly he could see Bill standing behind the man, awash in the faint neon glow of various bar signs.  
"Hey, kid, I'm talkin' to ya. You've been in here over half an hour. Do you need me to call someone?"  
Ford couldn't remember what calls were. He only knew his brother had not given him any in a long, long time.  
Ford missed Stan.  
The pain of his absence was so sharp, so immediate, Ford's vision blurred with tears.  
Bill shifted, coming to stand behind the older man (bar owner?) and somehow taller, so that Ford felt very, very small.  
"Oh, that's precious." Bill laughed, curt and robotic. A compulsion, not a habit. "Thought you ran out of those ages ago."  
Ford felt himself fading, washing away on the waves of this new and empty pain. Stanley.....where was he? He would have known Bill was bad news. Or, at least, he'd have bothered to ask why Ford never left his house lately.  
Stan would probably punch Bill in the eye, if he were here.  
Oh, Stan. Oh, brother. Why now? They'd burned that bridge before Ford even left home. It's a decade late and a dollar short.  
Ford felt his body, his mouth, moving of its own accord as he finally let Bill back into his body.

•••

Mack was reaching the end of his rope. If he didn't respond soon, Mack was gonna have to call poison control. Or a cab. Whichever was cheaper. He kicked the disheveled young fellow in the leg one final time. Luckily, this seemed to snap him alert. He gave Mack a wide grin, as though only just noticing his presence.

"Sorry, sir," the kid dismissively waved the hand that was not currently elbow-deep in the toilet bowl, "just a lightweight trying to out-drink the champs. Dunno what I was thinking."

Mack crossed his arms and tapped his foot. "...And?"

If he wasn't casting a shadow over the kid's face already, Mack would swear something came over him, then. Something dark.

"And I can walk home from here, if you don't mind."

Mack gave him a long, hard look. Then, he sighed and closed the door. The fuckin' weirdos that pass through here, sometimes...

**Author's Note:**

> I mean....how many people really think Bill was a good boyfriend who cared about Ford? Y'all know that demon was out for his portal and that's it.   
> Real talk: I love writing this Ford/Bill series cause it's a really good look at abuse and how much people suffer at the hands of manipulators like Bill. Sorry for the heaviness there lol I just had to get that out
> 
> Ford's only been in there forty minutes or so but Bill's making it seem like a lot longer just to fuck with him. In case that wasn't clear. It's not a mistake that Ford's estimation is off.
> 
> Peace✌️


End file.
